I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
