ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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