Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
