Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
