I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is classic penis vs brain.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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