You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
