you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
