I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
