i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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