Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
