It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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