Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
