First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
