I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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