Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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