Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
