My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize