mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
