where does the pee come out of this thing
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
there is puke in my bra ... again
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