If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
