Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
