Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize