My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
