Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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