Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize