You're my little dorito
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
