Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
