Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
