I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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