It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
