i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
