did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
