Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
