at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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