just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize