Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
