i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
