I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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