i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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