Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize