just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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