Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
