oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
