I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
