Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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