it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The uberlube is also flammable
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
