A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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