I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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