He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
