Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
