He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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