Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
