Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
