I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize