Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
