"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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