I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
