so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
