my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just high enough for therapy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
