I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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